Dark Side of the Mask

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Each morning I rise with a new understanding of the golden battlefield before me. This mask came into my life about eight years ago after a very intense guided meditation. I’m just now stepping into the rich, dense darkness of its lower half. Slowly sinking into the realization that the darkness of her isn’t something to suffer through, avoid, dread or fear. She is the depth and ferocity of the Warrior Priestess. She is the vanquisher, not the vanquished. She is the conquerer, not the conquered. She is the fire bearer bent on burning down the untruths that keep us bound and blind. She is the liberator.

How are you befriending your darkness?

Inexactly What You Get From Energy Medicine

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Every marketer ever believes that entrepreneurs and business owners must inform clients and customers of the results they’ll get from a product or service. Seems pretty logical, right? However, that presents a problem when it comes to Energy Medicine (and of course The Powerhouse, too.) To be honest, I don’t know exactly what you’ll get out of it, or how drastically your life will change. I can’t give you a bulleted list of quantifiable outcomes. It’s impossible to predict the intensity of your expansion or the richness of your transformation.

What I do know, is that you’ll never be the same.
You’ll shed your soul-skin countless times in the days to come.
You’ll hear the voice of God whisper in your bones.
You’ll be drenched in the light of your Divinity.
You’ll be wooed by a path you’ve only caught glimpses of until now.
You’ll stand face to face with ravenous desire.
You’ll weep over wounds.
Not long after, you’ll press fingertips into glistening scar tissue.
You’ll discover super-human strength that leaves you shocked and breathless.
You’ll surrender to a river of miracles that draws you into a current of clarity.
You’ll reach into the depths of your rage, hear its grievances and fears, and feel it shake the earth.
You’ll find what breaks your heart and what pisses you off and use them like compasses.
Life will break you open and spill love everywhere.

I can’t say exactly what you’ll get. But I promise you’ll get exactly what you need. I promise you’ll change the landscape of your inner life. I promise you’ll fall deeper in love with your humanity through your divinity.

If this sparks something in you, click here to get more.

 

photo credit :: Hartwig HKD

you are beauty at the edge

photo credit | Nana B Agyei

photo credit | Nana B Agyei

My favorite kind of prayer is the kind that prays me:

There is beauty at the edge.
The way your fingertips tremble.
The way your toes curl around the corner where rock falls away.
The way peace passes between your lips.
The way commitment sets your jaw.
You are beauty at the edge.
Leap into Love.
Don’t get trapped in anticipation.
Let it form and dissolve
as your feet leave the earth.
Hurl your beautiful body into gossamer air.
Air that rejoices in
your courageous heart
your breathless lungs
your declaration of truth.
Air that whistles and whispers against
your enchanting neck
your curving spine
your graceful hips.
Air that supports
your vaulting forward
your tumbling out into everything
your falling into elegant newness.

A Warrior Priestess

Warrior Priestess | Hilarie Mae

Sometimes the words of war are all I have to describe
those moments when Evil holds its foot to my throat.
No longer a stalking shadow, but a snarling presence
hell bent on my entrapment.
Self-doubt, paralyzing fear, immobilizing poison flowing towards me.
I can smell it acrid on the air, the thick scent of my own destruction.

It touches against my skin and shudders away,
for I am a Daughter of the Light,
a bearer of brightness
twinkling from every curve of my consciousness
and burning away the battle field.

The Divine says, “Nothing can take you from me.”

It is my destiny to stand guard at the door between
this heartbreakingly fragile reality and the battle fields beyond.

Armored. Watchful. Ablaze.

I walk the wall of the inner kingdom.
A temple priestess, born with the sinewy fearlessness of defense.
A warrior priestess, not of this world, but etheric and eternal.

Licking Light Off Our Lips

Supple Soul | Hilarie Mae Energy Therapy

Arch my supple soul in your hands
and make music from the tender vibrations
of my desires, my wanting, my fullness, my love

Join our flesh together,
like the curling notes of a symphony

For we together are born to dance,
Swallowing stars and licking light off our lips

Run a thumb along the spine of my soul
and I will bend into a bow into the cave
of Your fiery heart.

Breathe me as you might a breathless body
turning these trembling lungs into their awakening

Play me between your legs like a cello
cradled, secure, and surrendered to our song.

The Sureness of Mystery

Hilarie Mae | Revolutionary Energy Medicine

When you wake up every morning, you have no idea how your day is going to play out. You have no idea how many miracles could happen or how many tiny tragedies might grace your life. As the wise J.R.R. Tolkien said, “It’s a dangerous business… going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.” What’s sure: the Universe protects you ferociously. Every risk you take, every decision and choice, every moment of deliberation, every time you hurl yourself at the mercy of divine timing and take a plunge, She observes. She throws up barriers in the way of your destruction. She lays down feather beds to cradle your landing. She orchestrates minute details you’ll never notice or know about. She watches fondly as you find your footing, glowing with pride at your tenacity. She speaks comfort into your rawness, knowing your healing has already begun. She marvels at the shifting edifice of your soul. She cherishes every moment you gaze into the Universe within and catch a glimpse of Her in you. She longs for you to experience Her continual closeness. She guides your tumbles. She battles on your behalf for a clear path. She catches opportunities and offers them tenderly for your taking. She is the force of the entire Universe loving your forward. That is the only certainty and perhaps the most powerful sureness you will ever need.

 

Returning

Returning | HilarieMae.com
Several years ago I drove x-country from New York to Washington. During that long drive, I cried every single day. Layers of old stories, worn out beliefs, and self-doubt fell away bit by bit to reveal a truer me. That drive stripped me. I arrived in Washington raw. This journey into entrepreneurship feels the same way. My heart is raw. My skin is hungry. My body is at once bereft and strangely at peace, knowing instinctually that losing layers leads to newness. Yet even with that knowing, I grieve. I cry over my shedding self. My inner landscape will never look the same. Those cozy places where I used to hide are being exposed. I ache in this beautiful becoming. I feel lost on this new terrain, as though I’m remembering how to walk and feel and breathe and be after years of sleep.

 

The Anatomy of Resistance

 

Resistance | Hilarie Mae Energy Medicine

At the beginning of every Energy Therapy session, I go through an inner routine: centering, grounding, attunement. Centering allows me to fully inhabit my body. It’s the practice of stretching my soul into the farthest reaches of my fingertips and toes. Centering reifies who I am and how I want to feel during the session. It enables me to keep a crisp boundary between your energy and mine. Grounding often consists of imagining actual roots growing deeper into the ground and anchoring around the fiery earth center. The final step, attunement, is all about you. It’s when I step into your energy field and vibration. It’s the first time I fully feel what’s going on in your chakric system. Those first few seconds feel like the tuning of an orchestra. A beautiful cacophony of emotions, stories, and scars, some clearer than others.

After that first sequence, I check your Chakras with my pendulum and begin to clear, align, heal, and create. The work tends to flow seamlessly as your energy field shifts and responds to intentions and movement. However, in almost every session there’s a split second when I want to run away from the task at hand. That’s the moment I relish most because it tells me I’m standing toe to toe with your resistance. As with any practice, your place of resistance is a barrier to work through and a compass pointing to where needs the most attention. Meeting your resistance allows me to identify your places of deepest need and figure out how to best meet those needs and set you free.

How Energy Medicine Chose Me

Hilarie Mae | Revolutionary Energy Medicine

People often how I got into energy medicine. The answer is simple: I experienced it. My first time receiving energy work was on retreat eight years ago. The experience broke open a level of self work that I never knew existed. It confirmed that my spiritual life wasn’t all in my imagination, but rather a real world of mysticism within me. I felt simultaneously comforted and challenged, rooted and in flight, profoundly human and profoundly divine, heartbreakingly loved, acutely aware of my brokenness, but also of its impermanence. At that time in my life, I was deep in trenches dug by emotional abuse at the hands of someone I loved, an eating disorder, and a self-destructive desire to please everyone. Energy Therapy shed light on the grace in my life at a time when darkness threatened to blind me. It breathed life into my courage so I could find a way out of self-hatred. It honored where I was and gently ushered me forward into a new way of being in myself and the world. It helped me grow into the woman I am today.

From the moment I received it, I knew I was called to share it.

Check out some of my favorite Energy Therapy inspiration, knowledge, and beauty on this Pinterest board.

Lost In Pleasure

Photo by Glow Boudoir

Photo by Glow Boudoir

My history with food is fraught with restriction. I spent my childhood and adolesence unable to eat the food I wanted. That restriction lead me into a spiral of self-hate and binge eating. I mirrored all the outer rules around food by creating inner rules. Vegetables could not taste delicious. Sweets could not really taste at all. Salty food was for numbing out. Meat was for when I wanted to truly hurt. Food acted as a tool for self-destruction. As I started reading about food and other’s relationships with it, I found a group of people who ate to survive, and nothing more. Food wasn’t important to them or a source of pleasure. Eating was a practice, like brushing their teeth. I longed to feel disinterested in food. I decided to try for an opposite relationship. I would ignore it instead of obsess over it and that would balance everything out. I’d feel sane and in control again. Needless to say, it didn’t work out that way. I just became more entrenched in a food war, fighting its importance and value. And then my coach reminded me of something. Isabel said, “food is a sensory experience. It’s sensual.” Those words fit into me like missing puzzle pieces. And now…

I don’t eat to survive or fuel an obsession
I eat to awaken my senses
I eat to forge a stronger bond between my body and soul
I eat to put myself in a conscious state of bliss
I eat to raise my vibration
I eat to remember that I am an animal
I eat to create
I eat to remember my place as a daughter of the earth
I eat to learn about myself
I eat to care for myself
I eat to remember how important it is to feed myself
I eat to practice surrender
I eat to honor my intuition
I eat to honor my body
I eat to honor my hungers
I eat to heal
I eat to pray
I eat to step beyond my comfort zone
I eat to comfort myself
I eat to stay connected to my family
I eat to stay connected to tradition
I eat to celebrate
I eat to triumph over self-hatred
I eat to access holiness
I eat to make every meal feel like eucharist
I eat to play
I eat to hold space for every person at war with food
I eat to set the record straight
I eat to remind myself that I am worthy of nourishment
I eat to get lost in pleasure