Let’s Stop Using Pain as Proof

I’ve had some truly horrific things happen to me. Most of us have. Varying degrees (which are totally subjective) and varying experiences – but trauma, nevertheless.

I’ve been offered many opportunities to speak about this trauma, to share my story, speak my truth. At least thirty people have told me what a gift it would be to use my story to connect with other trauma victims and serve them through energy medicine. The best way to describe how I feel about this is the way you feel when watching a cat or dog eat their own puke. Grossed. Out.

I processed my trauma. I therapized it, coached it, journaled it, healed it. Sometimes a new facet of that process presents itself and I deal with it. All I can say is, I don’t want to meet you there. I don’t want to use my trauma, or yours, as the starting point of our collaboration.

I realize most people associate energy work with healing. We call it “energy healing,” and “energy medicine”. Both imply that the work addresses wounds, dis-ease, illness, and imbalance. It absolutely can. Many practitioners do that work well.

However, I have a million gifts. There are zillion jobs I could do, ways I could help, skills I could hone and offer. I won’t try to downplay that. Because YOU have a million gifts, too. You and I have stockpiles of incredible, earth-shaking, breath-taking, world-bettering giftedness. Know this: just because you can, doesn’t mean you have to.

You get to discover your gifts and choose how to use them. You get to take on the clients you LOVE working with, doing the work you LOVE to do. You get to carve out the most improbable and specific niche because that’s the work that really revs your engine. You get to gleefully and firmly say “No, thanks!” to 90% of the opportunities to use your gifts, so when the opportunity with just the right vibration comes along, you can put all your energy into saying, “YES!!!”

You don’t need to tell me the story of your trauma for me to believe in your giftedness. You don’t need to exploit your pain to prove the value of your contributions. And you definitely don’t need to spend another second rehashing your past to take action, use your voice, or create something right here and now.

(Note: healing is important. Sharing your story is important. There’s a time and place for it. There’s also a difference between truly healing, taking up permanent residence in your pain, exploiting pain as a marketing tactic, and moving the hell on. Choose wisely.)

This business of energy work is only fractionally comprised of healing. The vast majority of it is actually about what comes next. There’s a beautiful expanse of life after and alongside healing. Energy work is really about supporting your journey into the unknown, it’s about providing you with the energy necessary to receive and build wealth, insights, divine revelations, a super-charged creativity, a strong mind, clarity, power, pleasure, healthy relationships, resilience, and a life fully alive.

As an industry, we’ve relegated energy to healing. Rarely do we bring it into the conversation of business building, of unleashing creativity, of consciously generating wealth, of crafting and curating a life perfect for you – from the brand of underwear you buy to the conferences you attend to the partner you call in to the friends you’re surrounded by to the coffee you drink to the thoughts you think.

The true capability of energy work goes far beyond mending and rebalancing. Energy is the force behind creation. Isn’t that exactly what you need when you’re ready to create? When you’re ready to make something bigger or do better? When you’re gathering a group? When you’re speaking on a stage? When you’re writing that book? When you’re shifting gears in your business? When you’re consciously up-leveling?

This seems so obvious to me, but I haven’t had the words for it until just now. I don’t want to be your healer. There are a zillion healers, awesome healers, capable and compassionate healers.

I want to be your creative collaborator, the person holding a tank of life-force energy when you’re in the midst of making something amazing and you need a reserve to finish, your pleasure-promoter, your door opener, your celebrator, your encourager… an endless channel of energy from which you can draw upon to make the world better and brighter through the use of your gifts.

Let’s stop using pain as proof of giftedness. Instead, let your gifts loose in the world. Let your gifts speak for themselves.

You Get to Climb the Mountain

Let’s get one thing really clear. I love my job as much as I love life itself, because it is an expression and use of my Life Force in the world.

However, when someone asks me what I do, I usually give some version of “energy alchemist” and attempted to move on. What I really want to say: I am a powerful healer. I LOVE WOUNDS. And, given the opportunity, I will love your wounds right into the light of a thousand suns. I will dissolve completely into a pure channel of Universal Energy. I will hold space for you with a strength and depth that no one ever has before, so you can transcend all the bullshit that’s built up in your head (and life and business) and step into your prophecy, triumph, and divine trajectory.

That’s not exactly a sexy soundbite (but some of you are reading this like “HOLY YES!!!”). For that very reason, my inability to squish my work into a tidy little marketing box, I hated “marketing” and pretty much everything I’d ever been taught about “building” a business. An enormous amount of resistance built up between me and sharing my gifts in the world. Then I uncovered a bit of wisdom that changed everything.

Business is energy. It doesn’t need to be built outside yourself, it needs to be lived first.

Here’s what I mean by that. Whether you’re a soulpreneur, solopreneur, spiritual entrepreneur or logic-worshipping business owner, know this: the growth of your business begins and ends with your personal vibration. It’s more effective than any billboard or sales funnel. If your vibration is a wonky mess, so goes your business. If you commit to energetic hygiene for 5 days, notice an incredible shift, and take that as a cue to forsake all your new practices and pick up all your old habits, don’t wonder why everything went back to being shitty and unstable and out of flow.

You have not chosen the easy way out, at least not initially. You’ve chosen the crucible of transformation – to dedicate your life, your time, your energy, and the source of your income to your inner growth. That’s fucking courageous. And you are more than a match for this journey. In fact, you’re made for it.

So don’t let anyone tell you there’s a magic formula, 6 easy steps, a new planner, a time management technique, or a mastermind that will fast forward you through all the inner work and helicopter you to the top of the mountain where you make millions of dollars, feel completely fulfilled, and still get to live in all your low-vibe habits, practices, and thoughts.

Nope. You walk up the mountain yourself. And you know what? That walk is a privilege. YOU GET TO WALK UP THE MOUNTAIN. You get to meet yourself in the mess and magic and contribute something to our collective evolution. You get to choose gritty, tenacious joy. You get to scrap the rule book and live boundless. You get to create wealth. You get to wait when your soul calls for stillness and patience. You get say no to that dazzle opportunity that feels wrong. You get to say yes to that outrageous next step that looks impossible, but is actually perfect, because your soul and business eat impossible for breakfast.

It’s time to stop searching for the easy way out, for the magic formula. Tend to your vibration. Filter everything through it. Only devote to and implement what resonates. And when it doesn’t resonate anymore, dissolve it and don’t look back.

Flip off the business bullies, the quick-fix touting leeches, and the fear-based business guidance.

The energy, power, cosmic love, source, soul inside you is the most precious and potent source of wisdom at your disposal. Stop diluting it with doubt and fear. Give it center stage, even if your ego and fight/fight/freeze response is freaking the fuck out.

You’re here reading these words for a reason. You are essential. Listen to YOU, to your divinity, for what’s next.

Turn Your Process Into Power

You can be an incredible, powerful, world-changing, life-altering coach, healer, wellness professional, etc. and still not have it all together. You can struggle sometimes and need help, and still change your client’s lives.

You can heal humbly. You can keep learning and growing and changing, even though you’re an “expert” or a “thought leader”. Your wounds, your process, your distractions, your imperfections do not make you weak or unqualified. They make you a body of light, uniquely qualified to support the light in others.

In fact, the ecology of your inner life and outer contributions depends on your ability to keep doing your own work, to keep softening and strengthening, instead of building walls around your evolution, because you’re afraid of being seen.

The way to a more vibrant practice, more clients, more money, more time, is not suppressing or hiding your journey. It’s not exploiting it, either. The way is by letting it out into the light. And that looks different for everyone. We all have tender bits that require just the right reveal, just the right witnesses, just the right container for our vulnerability. Sometimes that’s quiet conversation and other times it’s in a stadium with thousands or in a book or podcast or sticky note on your refrigerator.

And when you choose to have your process seen, instead of pretending to have it all together or reacting with defensiveness or hiding, you allow alchemy in.

When you hide your process, you vastly underestimate the power and creativity of the Universe to use your whole being, your entire life, for good. Your process is your power in motion.

Take a gentle breath and a deep exhale. Let yourself be right here. Surrender right here. Create right here. Not when you’re more “together”, not when you’ve lost 10 pounds, not after you complete that certification or hire that coach, not once your website is done, not when you have “enough” time or money.

If your imagination is captivated by an idea, take one small step from here, to bring it to life. If you heart is longing for a person, place, or practice, go hunt it down or allow yourself to receive it. If your body is asking for a food, movement, or vibration, honor it with an answer.

There is so much power in your process, even the messy, unwieldy, embarrassing parts, if you allow them.

Ready for a witness? Let’s talk.