You Get to Climb the Mountain

Let’s get one thing really clear. I love my job as much as I love life itself, because it is an expression and use of my Life Force in the world.

However, when someone asks me what I do, I usually give some version of “energy alchemist” and attempted to move on. What I really want to say: I am a powerful healer. I LOVE WOUNDS. And, given the opportunity, I will love your wounds right into the light of a thousand suns. I will dissolve completely into a pure channel of Universal Energy. I will hold space for you with a strength and depth that no one ever has before, so you can transcend all the bullshit that’s built up in your head (and life and business) and step into your prophecy, triumph, and divine trajectory.

That’s not exactly a sexy soundbite (but some of you are reading this like “HOLY YES!!!”). For that very reason, my inability to squish my work into a tidy little marketing box, I hated “marketing” and pretty much everything I’d ever been taught about “building” a business. An enormous amount of resistance built up between me and sharing my gifts in the world. Then I uncovered a bit of wisdom that changed everything.

Business is energy. It doesn’t need to be built outside yourself, it needs to be lived first.

Here’s what I mean by that. Whether you’re a soulpreneur, solopreneur, spiritual entrepreneur or logic-worshipping business owner, know this: the growth of your business begins and ends with your personal vibration. It’s more effective than any billboard or sales funnel. If your vibration is a wonky mess, so goes your business. If you commit to energetic hygiene for 5 days, notice an incredible shift, and take that as a cue to forsake all your new practices and pick up all your old habits, don’t wonder why everything went back to being shitty and unstable and out of flow.

You have not chosen the easy way out, at least not initially. You’ve chosen the crucible of transformation – to dedicate your life, your time, your energy, and the source of your income to your inner growth. That’s fucking courageous. And you are more than a match for this journey. In fact, you’re made for it.

So don’t let anyone tell you there’s a magic formula, 6 easy steps, a new planner, a time management technique, or a mastermind that will fast forward you through all the inner work and helicopter you to the top of the mountain where you make millions of dollars, feel completely fulfilled, and still get to live in all your low-vibe habits, practices, and thoughts.

Nope. You walk up the mountain yourself. And you know what? That walk is a privilege. YOU GET TO WALK UP THE MOUNTAIN. You get to meet yourself in the mess and magic and contribute something to our collective evolution. You get to choose gritty, tenacious joy. You get to scrap the rule book and live boundless. You get to create wealth. You get to wait when your soul calls for stillness and patience. You get say no to that dazzle opportunity that feels wrong. You get to say yes to that outrageous next step that looks impossible, but is actually perfect, because your soul and business eat impossible for breakfast.

It’s time to stop searching for the easy way out, for the magic formula. Tend to your vibration. Filter everything through it. Only devote to and implement what resonates. And when it doesn’t resonate anymore, dissolve it and don’t look back.

Flip off the business bullies, the quick-fix touting leeches, and the fear-based business guidance.

The energy, power, cosmic love, source, soul inside you is the most precious and potent source of wisdom at your disposal. Stop diluting it with doubt and fear. Give it center stage, even if your ego and fight/fight/freeze response is freaking the fuck out.

You’re here reading these words for a reason. You are essential. Listen to YOU, to your divinity, for what’s next.

Turn Your Process Into Power

You can be an incredible, powerful, world-changing, life-altering coach, healer, wellness professional, etc. and still not have it all together. You can struggle sometimes and need help, and still change your client’s lives.

You can heal humbly. You can keep learning and growing and changing, even though you’re an “expert” or a “thought leader”. Your wounds, your process, your distractions, your imperfections do not make you weak or unqualified. They make you a body of light, uniquely qualified to support the light in others.

In fact, the ecology of your inner life and outer contributions depends on your ability to keep doing your own work, to keep softening and strengthening, instead of building walls around your evolution, because you’re afraid of being seen.

The way to a more vibrant practice, more clients, more money, more time, is not suppressing or hiding your journey. It’s not exploiting it, either. The way is by letting it out into the light. And that looks different for everyone. We all have tender bits that require just the right reveal, just the right witnesses, just the right container for our vulnerability. Sometimes that’s quiet conversation and other times it’s in a stadium with thousands or in a book or podcast or sticky note on your refrigerator.

And when you choose to have your process seen, instead of pretending to have it all together or reacting with defensiveness or hiding, you allow alchemy in.

When you hide your process, you vastly underestimate the power and creativity of the Universe to use your whole being, your entire life, for good. Your process is your power in motion.

Take a gentle breath and a deep exhale. Let yourself be right here. Surrender right here. Create right here. Not when you’re more “together”, not when you’ve lost 10 pounds, not after you complete that certification or hire that coach, not once your website is done, not when you have “enough” time or money.

If your imagination is captivated by an idea, take one small step from here, to bring it to life. If you heart is longing for a person, place, or practice, go hunt it down or allow yourself to receive it. If your body is asking for a food, movement, or vibration, honor it with an answer.

There is so much power in your process, even the messy, unwieldy, embarrassing parts, if you allow them.

Ready for a witness? Let’s talk.

How to Relentlessly Heal Yourself Without Going Crazy

There have been (many) moments on my healing journey when I felt like I was losing my mind. To be clear, “losing my mind” felt a lot like hopelessness, stuckness, stagnation, fear, excruciating pain, betrayal, rage, bewilderment, exhaustion, confusion, and frustration. Fun, right?

There were moments I sought the council of therapists, spiritual directors, teachers, guides, energy healers, coaches, friends, family members, and practitioners in about 500 other modalities. That’s a lot of work. And it’s not over, because I’m still alive.

However, as a functioning adult, it’s not practical to stay 100% in the thick of it every minute of every day. Believe it or not, the laundry still needs to get done, and you still need to eat, and there’s a great big world that still wants to meet you and warm you with joy.

Over the last several years, I’ve discovered and cultivated a few ways to stay sane in the process of relentless healing.

Consciously pause and breathe.
I know this seems like a “duh” kind of statement, but it bears repeating and repeating. Two simple guidelines to make this practice more impactful:

  1. When you pause, don’t pause while staring at your screen. That’s not a pause. That stilling your fingers while remaining stimulated by whatever you’re staring at. Unplug your pause from every screen, device, and distraction.
  2. When you breathe, feel the breath move in your body. Even if you can’t chill out long enough to notice anything else, notice the sensation of breath moving in your body.

Prioritize Self-Care.
We hear this often without knowing what it looks like in practice. Prioritizing self-care is saying ‘no’ to the unnecessary and unfulfilling. If it doesn’t light you up or require your attention, it’s off the list. Prioritizing self-care is taking a break when you’re overwhelmed, exhausted, unfocused, or triggered. You don’t have to push yourself through that discomfort every single time. Step out. Take a break. Prioritizing self-care is listening to your body amid life and healing. Put her first and she’ll carry you through healing like a life raft. Our body is the landscape of whatever we’re healing, the physical manifestation of our woundedness, often times. It’s easy to see that and want to look away, ignore, repress, etc. Don’t. Be kind to your body whenever you can. She’s your ally in healing.

Learn Healthy Self-Comfort.
There’s a lot of talk about self-care in the personal development and spirituality realm. I believe self-comfort is equally as important. When you’re doing deep healing work, sometimes you need the body, mind, or soul version of someone holding you close, with genuine, agenda-less love, telling you that everything is going to be okay. You can do that for yourself, you can ask someone else, and you can discover new ways to experience self-comfort. Much like a fussy baby, I like being swaddled in a snuggly blanket. Sometimes I sit on my couch for half an hour, not doing anything except enjoying being wrapped up tight in a blanket. Other times it’s a delicious meal, laying on the grass, hugging a tree, hugging anything really, talking with your mom on the phone, going swimming, squishing homemade play dough… you get the idea.

If you’re still unclear on the distinction between Self-Care and Self-Comfort, Molly Mahar wrote a great post about it here.

Make Space & Take Time for Healing.
Trying to squeeze life-altering sessions, modalities, practices, experiences into a hectic, “I never have the time” life, is flat out ridiculous. If this is how you operate, constantly trying to condense your process, it’s going to be ineffective and unsustainable. That means whatever resources you devote to it are a loss, right out of the gate. Your body, mind, and energy need time and space (away from responsibilities and distractions) to integrate the healing you experience. The process of assimilation, shifting, release, realization, and growing more powerful is one that operates largely outside of time and space. Trying to fit it into a tiny slot on your calendar between picking your kids up from school and going to a networking event isn’t grounded or efficient. Make space and time and watch the rate and efficiency of your healing accelerate.

Distinguish Between Survival and Thriving.
There are moments when the lines can blur, but trust me, they are very different. Survival is a baseline, the foundational elements that keep you alive and functioning, able to communicate, to pay your bills, to care for your body, and sometimes throw your soul a bone. Thriving is another thing altogether. Speaking of altogether, it’s a common misconception that thriving means having it all together. It’s not. Thriving isn’t perfection. And thriving isn’t an image you’re projecting. Thriving isn’t about how many yoga classes or green juices or moments of manifestation or a dollar amount or any other outward sign.

Thriving is an inner, high vibration state of joy, trust, vision, and love. It’s levity amid chaos. It’s allowing yourself to be who you are and going to whole way. It’s clear boundaries and intentional self-care. It’s honoring your way, your rhythm, your voice, and your taste. It’s creating your own definitions for balance, success, wellness, and responsibility. It’s being kind to yourself (and everyone else) when you make mistakes, get off track, piss someone off, hurt someone’s feelings, or miss something right in front of your face. It’s patience with your humanity and devotion to your divinity. It’s changing the world by simply being who you are. It’s fortitude and courage and tenacity.

Practice Boundary Setting.
Lose or nonexistent boundaries undermine healing. You cannot experience wholeness without boundaries. The depth of your healing is directly connected to the strength and clarity of your boundaries. If this is an area that you need some support in, click here to download a free copy of my Chakra Boundaries guided meditation.

Ask for Help Before Asking for Help is Your Only Option.
Most of us have been here before. You tough it out until you’re at your wits end. There’s no award for toughing it out. There’s not medal at the finish line of denial. Sometimes there’s panic, or pain, or frustration, but no pay-off. If you’re struggling, ask for help. If going it alone feels like shit (and it usually does), enlist help. Hire someone to support your journey that is 100% committed to your process.

And last, but possibly most important:

Allow the Unexpected.
Your healing process won’t look like anyone else’s. There’s no formula, standardized guide, quick fix, or modality that’s suited to everyone. If something doesn’t resonate, let it go and move on. There’s no obligation here. Only your inner voice trying to speak amid the clutter of thought. Your path is your own. Your needs, desires, and trajectory require unique fulfillment. So instead of sifting in vain through every magic formula, recognize that the map for healing, or whatever you’re in the midst of, is already inside you. Let it rise to the surface. Let it speak. Keep it simple.

If you’re still reading, I’m guessing there’s something you’re in the midst of mending. I’d love to help. Click here to schedule a free exploration call.

The Joyful Crucible

Pay close attention to those quiet stirrings of your soul. Are they habit, desire, or need? Name them carefully.  Brush away the layers of reaction and discern, discern, discern.

Together your body and mystical experience provide the wisest, most exquisitely well-suited map for your way forward.

Do yourself a tremendous favor and give your inner life undivided attention as often as you can.

Step out of the storylines and conversations that encourage sameness.

Peel away the pieces you’ve outgrow. Bless their contribution. Leave them by the side of the road.

The only way out is through.
Whisper it to yourself: through. through. through.

This joyful crucible wants to claim and transform every cell of you from every lifetime.
Surrender yourself on the altar.

Even as you beg the Divine for an easier way.

Surrender.

Even as you search for reason and steadiness and logic.

Surrender.

Even as the ground beneath you falls away.

Surrender.

Even when the unfolding landscape seems impossible.

Surrender.

p.s. if you’re ready for some energetic support as you practice surrender, click here to book a Short & Sweet Energy Consult with me!

Deep Dive: Energy Medicine for Body and Soul

The deep end is where the magic happens. It’s where you discover what you’re made of: courage, tenacity, grit, compassion… everything you need.
The deep end is where you discover what desires withstand the pressure of forging ahead and creating.

The deep end is where risk turns into reward.

The deep end is where you flourish.

The deep end is where you need the most support.

Let’s dive.

20 Minutes + $45.  Click here to book a Short & Sweet Energy Consult.

Antonyms of Punishment

A couple weeks ago, while vibing pretty hard with the almost-full-moon, I googled “antonyms of punishment”. You know, just for fun.

Here are a few that melted me liquid like honey: forgiveness. blessing. approval. amnesty. deliverance. gentleness. indulgence. mercy. praise. protection. release.

Yes. YES TO ALL OF THOSE.

My whole body seemed to fill and float like a sponge.

Self-punishment is guilt in action. It’s a barrier between our gifts and a world desperate for us to use them.

When we choose one of those other words to inform our actions, we generate love.
We create a higher vibration.
We allow new opportunities for wholeness, wellbeing, power, and joy to open up.
We enable the Divine to breathe deeper in us.
We grow our life a little more lush.
We serve our clients, relationships, and self from higher ground.
We recognize our gifts like old friends emerging from a crowd.
We end the cycle of struggle.
Doesn’t that sound delicious?

If you’re ready for your business to feel like a living, breathing benediction for you and everyone it touches, let’s talk.

Gentle Reminder: You’re Here. You’re enough.

It’s okay if you didn’t reinvent yourself today.

It’s okay if you didn’t transform, transmute, or transcend anything.

It’s okay if an old habit reintroduced itself. It’s okay if you didn’t make everyone happy.

It’s okay if you forgot, remembered, took too long, went too fast, or didn’t set an intention.

It’s okay if you didn’t feel particularly sparkly every second you were awake.

You’re here.
You’re enough.

The Warrior Woman

The Warrior Archetype.

She burns away the sweet talk and making nice. After all, you’re not here to be nice. Kind, sure. Humble, yes. Grounded in your divinity, absolutely. But you’re not here to contort yourself to keep everyone comfortable.

When I work with my Inner Warrior, she makes a beautiful mess. Through that mess, She clarifies like no other.

She isn’t ladylike or polite.

In fact, She relishes the activities that tend to make people cringe-y and uncomfortable.

A few examples:

She sees, binds, and slays demons. She has excellent night vision and she uses it to hunt the darkness. When she’s done, she licks the blood off her blades.

She is shockingly blunt and brutally honest. Are you using karma or consciousness as an excuse to participate in something that’s toxic, misaligned, or low-vibration? She’ll let you know. There’s no malice in her truth-telling. It’s dry and factual, which can sound harsh. But at her fiery heart is Pure Love.

She doesn’t take a single second for granted. She is ferociously present. And she will drag you from past or future to this exact moment so you can look yourself full in face – the light, the dark, the mess, the miracle.

She’s a bit of a metaphysical pyro. Her delivery of wisdom and war is clean, not clouded with a lot of feelings, agendas, or desired outcomes. The preamble to that clean delivery, is a lake of fire. She’ll start it, bathe a whole situation in it, and pace the shorelines watching for what emerges solidified or burnt to a crisp.

She brings the cosmic balance of life AND death. As light chasers and awareness generators, it’s easy to gravitate towards the light. But we’re not all light. There’s rolled-up-sleeves and get-your-hands-dirty work to be done in ourselves and this world we live in. There’s insidious darkness to address. There are bullshit and platitudes to burn down. There are energetic strongholds of hatred, suffering, and apathy that need dismantling.

Let Her lose, friends. She has work to do.

Preparing Your Heart

Drumming is my favorite vibration for deep heart work preparation. I combine it with rib and hip isolations, letting Anahata (heart chakra energy) spiral its way gracefully into the ground, deeper and deeper, merging fiery and blissful with the core of our earth.

When we consider heart energy only in terms of flow and emotionality, we miss out on the power of a rooted and rhythmic heart. Roots and rhythm make movement and the movement of the heart creates a path for transcendence, healing, and feeling.

Ground your heart like a tree. Let it make its own wise way into Love.

Don’t Hold Back

You’ve made waiting a superpower
Turning your desire into a delicate pause
A total surrender to Divine Timing
And while your heart waited, it grew lush
Now it’s time to stop waiting, Beloved
Your heart is too irresistible to hold back.