We often talk about healing in glowing terms. We invest time, effort, and financial resources into mending ourselves and moving through our blocks so we can live bright, glorious, rich lives. But what about when a wound begins to feel whole and that brings up more angst than celebration?
Wounds often inform so much of who we are. They build our strength, color the lens through which we see the world, and call our gifts out into the light. However, while we diligently (or not so diligently) work on them, they can become excuses or reasons to hold back or play small.
As you begin to feel whole, some questions might rise to surface in the wake of a healed wound. What will I be without this wound? What will I co-create with the Divine as the next iteration of my life? Without this excuse, what is God going to ask of me?
Healing can be so challenging because healing removes the excuse of the wound. We heal to break down the barriers between us and God. We heal to fill our hearts and dance into the life we’re made for.
Sometimes… That’s. Terrifying. It’s one thing to understand the healing journey cognitively. However, to feel that process in our hearts means watching the sun set on one version of ourselves and a new day dawn. It means touching the unknown with brave, trembling fingertips. It means stepping forward without being able to see the path before us or ground beneath us. It means practicing radical trust in ourselves and the Divine. That’s a monumental task and requires all of us, not bits and pieces or divided attention. It requires all of our brokenness and distraction. It demands all of our fear, avoidance, and denial. It asks for the totality of our being to enter into the healing journey and sacrifice the ways we hide.
So today, we pray: “God, may my life be an ever unfolding prophecy of triumph.”
One thought on “A Prayer for When Healing Feels Scary”
This is fantastic! It has come to me at a time when I needed it. Thanks for your words and poignancy in them. One thing, though, is that I can note that we are the divine and the divine is us but it only manifests itself deeply when we fully allow ourselves to be human, which is the reason we are here; and it is surprising how many barriers are placed between us and our humanity from birth onwards, in the name of “God”, which is why we develop so much fear and shame and scars which, in turn, teaches us about the human journey into healing and love and the intrinsic power within us. God takes form and essence in the human journey when it is not held back by fear and defeated by fallacious unworthiness. And we don’t need religion for god because we are a part of it and it is a part of us just because we exist.