I will no longer walk the path of my memorized suffering.

Read that again. Say it out loud. Whisper it. Chant it. Stomp it. Use like a battle cry. Sing it. Shout it.

Every time I find a new constellation of pain or trauma or dysfunction or pleasure or wholeness or readiness or rightness inside me, I say this: I will no longer walk the path of my memorized suffering.

There are moments when it’s a confirmation of what I know in my heart and bones. A celebration of setting myself free. It’s a history lesson, so I may keep learning my liberation through all timelines.

There are moments when it’s a clarion call, waking a part of me from a backward gazing trace, the slumber of suffering. It shouts insistently from rooftops: there’s no life here! Keep moving! Keep feeling! Wake up and summon your curiosity, your vigor, your fire!

This is what many people mean when they engage in “healing” of any kind. At the heart of it, we’re just tracing those pathways of suffering, lighting them up, tagging them, so we can see how to walk a new path. A path of deeper pleasure, power, joy, dignity, consciousness, wholeness, abundance, harmony, energy, and love which awaits us.

But first we must decide to forsake the pathways of suffering, give ourselves permission to stray, to be drawn by our instinct for enjoyment. We must let ourselves learn new pathfinding skills, like breath, embodiment, tantra, yoga, meditation, bodywork, being in right-fit community, screaming alone in your car, rolling around naked on the floor, skinny dipping, laughing until you cry, and the zillions of other healing modalities out there. We must commit, relentless, to the memorizing of new paths – paths we chose, curated, created, crafted, dreamed, desired, laughed/cried/sang/sculpted into existence because they’re for us.

Now don’t get me wrong, this declaration is a micro-change, no a big splashy instantly life altering change. It will occur in a hundred tiny ways in your life. Like the way you choose friends, talk to your boss, say yes to a partner, sustain boundaries, spend money, spend time, relax your body and mind, talk to god, receive opportunities, take risks, care for the people you love (especially yourself), unleash your creativity, and relearn how to play.

“I will no longer walk the path of my memorized suffering” is a practice. It is actions repeated over and over until your life is unrecognizable.

Sacral Chakra (Svadhishthana)

Sanskrit: Svadhishthana (meaning “sweetness”)
Location: Navel to genitals
Body: Emotional
Gland: Ovaries/Testes
Physical manifestations: Sex organs, bladder, prostate, womb, low back and abdomen.
Purpose: desire, pleasure, feminine power, and creativity
Focus: maintaining emotional balance and healthy sexual expression
Statement: “I feel…” related to emotions (rather than body)

The sacral chakra is all about cycling. It is the energy that supports your life cycles – physical, emotional, and spiritual. (Note: see bonus life cycles pdf.)

The sacral chakra is primarily concerned with pleasure and housing your feminine wisdom. Your sacral energy center is involved anytime you feel creatively stifled, in a creative flow, turned on, turned off, hormonally unbalanced, or deeply desiring something (movement, food, sensation, sounds, spiritual or personal connection, etc.).

This is such an experiential chakra. It wants to feel and be felt, deeply, which is often a reflection of how we are in the world. We desire to be felt (touched, understood, seen) and to feel. So what does it mean to feel? We tend to have carefully constructed methods of distraction when it comes to feeling. However, the sacral chakra is healthiest when you allow yourself to experience the full breath, depth, and complexity of your personhood, your soul, and your desires.

Engaging with the Sacral Chakra

Start a conversation with your sacral chakra on paper, with your voice, or in your head and ask a few questions. Start with: Where in my life is it time to unleash my creative power?

Nourishing the Sacral Chakra

Experience sensory pleasure.
Get to know your woman body with books like Cunt by Inga Muscio and Love Your Lady Landscape by Lisa Lister.
Let your creativity out to play.
Give yourself a belly rub.
Have sex! (with yourself or a loving partner)
Let go of something you’re hanging onto (emotional, physical, mental).
Pause and simply be quiet with your body and spirit.

Root Chakra (Muladhara)

Sanskrit: Muladhara (meaning “root” or “support”)
Location: Base of the spine and perineal floor
Body: Etheric
Gland: Adrenals
Physical manifestations: stress responses, leg/foot issues, elimination, physical body as a whole.
Purpose: survival or will to live and physical health
Focus: physical functioning, sensation, grounding, habits, and instincts
Statement: “I have…” or “I feel…” related to body and physicality

The root chakra grounds your energy. Much like a lightning rod conducts electricity (energy) into the earth, your root chakra does the same for you!

The root chakra is primarily concerned with physical survival. Your root responds any time, brief or extended, that you feel unsafe. This can include unhealthy relationships, major life changes, long-term or frequent traveling, a lack of quiet time without screens or other stimulation, and a lack of time in nature, among many other possibilities.

As our culture and lifestyle has evolved in the western world, survival focus often shifts to support focus. For example, when the root chakra does not need to worry about ensuring we find our next meal it can refine its focus to the right kind of meal that feels fully supportive, high vibrational, and in alignment with what your body’s desires and needs.

Conversing with the Root Chakra

Start a conversation with your root chakra on paper, with your voice, or in your head and ask a few questions. Start with: Where in my life is it time to step out of survival and into support?

Nourishing the Root Chakra

Stand on the ground outside or brick or rocks inside.
Stomp your feet.
Seek out places or people that make you feel especially supported and spend some time there/with them.
Notice the difference between practicing self-care and self-comfort.
Foot bath, pedicure, or foot massage.
Read about and experiment with Mula Bandha Breath.

A Story About Green Beans

Around this time last year, I sat across from my grandmother and mother at a french restaurant in Florida. We’re french, so there’s a certain cellular familiarity when we go there and break fresh bread slathered in butter.

The conversation moved lightly from weather to beach weather to beach activities and finally to food. Of course. My grandmother shared a story about herself as a child. She was with her family at a friend’s house. At dinnertime, they served tender, perfect green beans from their garden. My grandmother wanted a second helping. Her mother (my great grandmother) turned to her and said, “don’t ever ask for more”.

That phrase struck a cord, reverberating along a false truth through the center of me and back, back, back into the lineage of our family. I followed the reverberation, realizing in one heavy moment that every woman in my family was living that phrase in her own way, bent or contorted or atrophied or embittered or enslaved by that lie.

I reeled, as if the wind had been knocked out of me.

I had to command myself to breathe again, to return to the food in front of me and the women across from me, continuing our conversation.

Within the next hour, I had found my indignation and iron-willed resolve. That belief would end with me. I would not live it anymore.

Unlike some of the women in my family, I could do something about it. I could go in search of that wound and invite it to heal.

A few weeks after returning to my little studio apartment in New York, I saw the wound clearly in my mind’s eye. It stretched through time and space, an oozing and raw fissure through the landscape of my lineage. Parasites fed from it, spawning infection and rotting flesh.

Breathing and taking in the wound, I widened the scope of my internal attention to not only see it, but allow an action or direction to present itself.

In the same breath, an ancient and bespectacled version of Poseidon rose from an ocean beneath my feet. The first step was clear: salt water. He washed it over the wound. Parasites scuttled away. The rawness seemed to pop and burn at first, and then settle into a deep exhale.

My physical body responded with dropped shoulders, folding back into the pillows on my bed – exhausted. relieved. uncertain. A few minutes of breathing, watching ocean water foam through time, and I was able to sit up again, shakily ready for whatever was next.

The water ebbed away, leaving behind a gaping, but clean, pathway of pain. Water could flow anywhere, but I was just one person. What was I supposed to do? Spend hours or even days mending a millenia-long lie? Impossible.

The word ‘impossible’ ushered in a new kind of help. I was joined by the communion of saints. If you’ve never heard of them before, it’s a Catholic thing. The communion of saints are all the apostles, the mystics, the sainted ones that have gone before us and now move mountains and make jokes and celebrate our progress from other dimensions. They presented themselves to me once before on a foggy road the the middle of Yellowstone National Park, as a I drove alone, sobbing and scared, on a pilgrimage of sorts. They wrapped me in a million-layered hug that day.

This day, they poured in through doorways and centuries, chatting and laughing with each other like dear friends. Some acknowledged me, others simply got to work. Stitching, sewing, reshaping, cutting away, mending the wound before them.

When all of heaven responds to your need and descends on your life without a second thought, there are no words for that except Love.

I watched and waited, marveling at their tenderness and efficiency. I could feel energy shifting as their hands worked, growing brighter and stronger, richer and elastic, softer and sweeter. Everything about this was changing. I was changing.

A thousand breaths later and they vanished just as they arrived, without ceremony or fanfare. One last round of helpers – the animals and angels. They’re not really that different. Both pure and wise, with unearthly medicine for us.

The angels smoothed salve over stitches and made god-honey in all the empty spaces. The animals rested. Their purring warmth vibrating through swollen tissue and tired cells, calling every square inch back to life, to fullness, to highest purpose, to golden Hara Line destiny.

A second later I was laying on my bed, bathed in afternoon sun, with dried salt water on my cheeks and an impossibly whole heart.

This is how I heal. Whether its my own or a client’s, this is the process. For the unspoken and the unspeakable aspects of you that need to be held in the light, this is the process. Assembling a team, holding space for the work, honoring the process, making sense of what’s emerging, and softening, strengthening into the new. You can’t force it or fake it. You just have to show up willing to be helped, to heal. You have to trust your own perfect timing and your life’s undeniable desire for freedom and tenderness and love lavished through time and space.

The Joyful Crucible

Pay close attention to those quiet stirrings of your soul. Are they habit, desire, or need? Name them carefully.  Brush away the layers of reaction and discern, discern, discern.

Together your body and mystical experience provide the wisest, most exquisitely well-suited map for your way forward.

Do yourself a tremendous favor and give your inner life undivided attention as often as you can.

Step out of the storylines and conversations that encourage sameness.

Peel away the pieces you’ve outgrow. Bless their contribution. Leave them by the side of the road.

The only way out is through.
Whisper it to yourself: through. through. through.

This joyful crucible wants to claim and transform every cell of you from every lifetime.
Surrender yourself on the altar.

Even as you beg the Divine for an easier way.


Even as you search for reason and steadiness and logic.


Even as the ground beneath you falls away.


Even when the unfolding landscape seems impossible.


p.s. if you’re ready for some energetic support as you practice surrender, click here to book a Short & Sweet Energy Consult with me!

Deep Dive: Energy Medicine for Body and Soul

The deep end is where the magic happens. It’s where you discover what you’re made of: courage, tenacity, grit, compassion… everything you need.
The deep end is where you discover what desires withstand the pressure of forging ahead and creating.

The deep end is where risk turns into reward.

The deep end is where you flourish.

The deep end is where you need the most support.

Let’s dive.

20 Minutes + $45.  Click here to book a Short & Sweet Energy Consult.

Antonyms of Punishment

A couple weeks ago, while vibing pretty hard with the almost-full-moon, I googled “antonyms of punishment”. You know, just for fun.

Here are a few that melted me liquid like honey: forgiveness. blessing. approval. amnesty. deliverance. gentleness. indulgence. mercy. praise. protection. release.


My whole body seemed to fill and float like a sponge.

Self-punishment is guilt in action. It’s a barrier between our gifts and a world desperate for us to use them.

When we choose one of those other words to inform our actions, we generate love.
We create a higher vibration.
We allow new opportunities for wholeness, wellbeing, power, and joy to open up.
We enable the Divine to breathe deeper in us.
We grow our life a little more lush.
We serve our clients, relationships, and self from higher ground.
We recognize our gifts like old friends emerging from a crowd.
We end the cycle of struggle.
Doesn’t that sound delicious?

If you’re ready for your business to feel like a living, breathing benediction for you and everyone it touches, let’s talk.

Gentle Reminder: You’re Here. You’re enough.

It’s okay if you didn’t reinvent yourself today.

It’s okay if you didn’t transform, transmute, or transcend anything.

It’s okay if an old habit reintroduced itself. It’s okay if you didn’t make everyone happy.

It’s okay if you forgot, remembered, took too long, went too fast, or didn’t set an intention.

It’s okay if you didn’t feel particularly sparkly every second you were awake.

You’re here.
You’re enough.

The Warrior Woman

The Warrior Archetype.

She burns away the sweet talk and making nice. After all, you’re not here to be nice. Kind, sure. Humble, yes. Grounded in your divinity, absolutely. But you’re not here to contort yourself to keep everyone comfortable.

When I work with my Inner Warrior, she makes a beautiful mess. Through that mess, She clarifies like no other.

She isn’t ladylike or polite.

In fact, She relishes the activities that tend to make people cringe-y and uncomfortable.

A few examples:

She sees, binds, and slays demons. She has excellent night vision and she uses it to hunt the darkness. When she’s done, she licks the blood off her blades.

She is shockingly blunt and brutally honest. Are you using karma or consciousness as an excuse to participate in something that’s toxic, misaligned, or low-vibration? She’ll let you know. There’s no malice in her truth-telling. It’s dry and factual, which can sound harsh. But at her fiery heart is Pure Love.

She doesn’t take a single second for granted. She is ferociously present. And she will drag you from past or future to this exact moment so you can look yourself full in face – the light, the dark, the mess, the miracle.

She’s a bit of a metaphysical pyro. Her delivery of wisdom and war is clean, not clouded with a lot of feelings, agendas, or desired outcomes. The preamble to that clean delivery, is a lake of fire. She’ll start it, bathe a whole situation in it, and pace the shorelines watching for what emerges solidified or burnt to a crisp.

She brings the cosmic balance of life AND death. As light chasers and awareness generators, it’s easy to gravitate towards the light. But we’re not all light. There’s rolled-up-sleeves and get-your-hands-dirty work to be done in ourselves and this world we live in. There’s insidious darkness to address. There are bullshit and platitudes to burn down. There are energetic strongholds of hatred, suffering, and apathy that need dismantling.

Let Her lose, friends. She has work to do.

Preparing Your Heart

Drumming is my favorite vibration for deep heart work preparation. I combine it with rib and hip isolations, letting Anahata (heart chakra energy) spiral its way gracefully into the ground, deeper and deeper, merging fiery and blissful with the core of our earth.

When we consider heart energy only in terms of flow and emotionality, we miss out on the power of a rooted and rhythmic heart. Roots and rhythm make movement and the movement of the heart creates a path for transcendence, healing, and feeling.

Ground your heart like a tree. Let it make its own wise way into Love.