On Choosing A Body of Desire

Photo by Glow Boudoir

Last Friday, I wrote about cravings and unmet needs. Then I started thinking about where those cravings come from and where they’re pointing. Where are they rooted? Where do they lead us if we choose to satisfy them? Then it hit me. The vibrationals cravings are both rooted in and pointing to the same thing: desire. If you follow my energy work on Facebook, you know I’m a fan of everything Danielle LaPorte writes. She is one of the most profound creators of our time. If you’ve never experienced her writing before, GO. If you have, then chances are you know her body work called The Desire Map. In it, she invites readers to dive into a deeper understanding of how to feel the way they want to feel by identifying Core Desired Feelings (CDFs).

I struggled to figure out my CDFs for over a year. I changed my mind. I waffled. I threw all of them out and decided I just wasn’t built for core desired feelings. Then I made a new list and decided to keep all 35. Then someone made me feel essential in front of a camera. It was fifteen minutes of feeling absolutely necessary, indispensable, and purely myself. True to form, my body recognized that feeling immediately as a CDF. Feeling essential made my soul sing in my body. Several months later, a co-worker said “Hilarie, you’re such a pro” about a job I completed. His statement triggered something. You know that feeling when you have mastery of a skill or knowledge area? That feeling of prowess, even if it’s about how you make toast in the morning? That word rose up inside me. Like any good student, I googled it, sure there were layers of meaning. Turns out prowess means extraordinary ability, exceptional valor, and bravery. The feeling captured in prowess makes my body feel strong and limitless. It’s a resounding yes. Two weeks later, while doodling, I wrote the word molten and it made me melt. Molten brought with it visions of heat, movement, and fiery light. It was love at first feel.

So now I have these words – essential, prowess, molten – coursing through me. Holding them in my mind creates a visceral reaction. I can taste them, smell them. They take shape inside me and expand, inviting me to do the same. I wasn’t expecting core desired feelings that called me to higher ground or produced a feeling of urgency. My expectations don’t stop them from demanding things. They demand creation through decision. They demand burning bridges and building a backbone. They demand showing up fiercely and gracefully in each new moment. They call me to sing and sink into juicy depth. They call me to confront the energy and ecstasy and wounds living within, because I am (and you are) created for desire.

I dare you to let yourself want exactly what you want. Dip your toe in desire. And please, for the love all that’s holy, report back.

Much love,
Hilarie Mae

Want a visual of my CDFs? Check out This Desire of Mine on Pinterest!

The First Step to Getting Your Needs Met

Photo by Ajari

Photo by Ajari

Food used to be the only craving I could hear over my cacophony of unmet needs. The bereft soul has a very limited attention span for things that challenge it to grow.

However, the more you deny what you need, the bigger that need becomes.

Several years of work later, I find myself full of cravings that aren’t edible in the physical sense. For example, sometimes I crave being at the symphony. The music sets me on fire. I emerge from those halls of sound dazed, as a phoenix might be upon emerging purified from flame. I emerge purged and satisfied. The beast within purrs her approval.

I used to believe that if I let her out to play, if I unleashed her rampant need and unwavering cravings, her and I would devour the world, leaving behind a wake of empty shells, resentment and pain. Now I find she is decisive in her desire. And when I listen, when I turn inward and nourish her, she stands guard at my balancing point between roots and wings. She defends my time and breathes life into my sense of self. She affirms unequivocally that I am worthy of everything I want. She reminds me that there is a way to meet every need.

Here is my invitation to you: Unleash the beast. 

Let your longings, desires, and cravings out of their cage. Risk being too much – too hungry, too loud, too fat, too thin, too opinionated, too boisterous, too loving, too strong, too vague, too unpredictable, too bold.

When you dare to trust yourself, the magic begins. When you choose freedom and feeling good over keeping other people comfortable, miracles happen.

Much Love,
Hilarie Mae

p.s. click here if you’re ready to take the second step.