Trusting the Sureness of Mystery

Hilarie Mae | Revolutionary Energy Medicine

When you wake up every morning, you have no idea how your day is going to play out. You have no idea how many miracles could happen or how many tiny tragedies might grace your life. As the wise J.R.R. Tolkien said, “It’s a dangerous business… going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.”

What’s sure: the Universe protects you ferociously.

Every risk you take, every decision and choice, every moment of deliberation, every time you hurl yourself at the mercy of divine timing and take a plunge, She observes.

She throws up barriers in the way of your destruction. She lays down feather beds to cradle your landing. She orchestrates minute details you’ll never notice or know about. She watches fondly as you find your footing, glowing with pride at your tenacity. She speaks comfort into your rawness, knowing your healing has already begun. She marvels at the shifting edifice of your soul. She cherishes every moment you gaze into the Universe within and catch a glimpse of Her in you. She longs for you to experience Her continual closeness. She guides your tumbles. She battles on your behalf for a clear path. She catches opportunities and offers them tenderly for your taking.

She is the force of the entire Universe loving your forward.

That is the only certainty and perhaps the most powerful sureness you will ever need.

How Energy Medicine Chose Me

People often ask how I got into energy medicine. The answer is simple: I experienced it.

My first time receiving energy work was on retreat eight years ago. The experience broke open a level of insight, clarity, and relief that I never knew existed. It confirmed that my spiritual life wasn’t all in my imagination, but rather a real world of mysticism within and around me. I felt simultaneously comforted and challenged, rooted and in flight, profoundly human and profoundly divine, heartbreakingly loved, acutely aware of my brokenness, but also of its impermanence.

At that time in my life, I was deep in trenches dug by emotional abuse at the hands of someone I loved, an eating disorder, and a self-destructive desire to please everyone. Energy Therapy shed light on the grace in my life at a time when darkness threatened to blind me. It breathed life into my courage so I could find a way out of self-hatred. It honored where I was and gently ushered me forward into a new way of being in myself and the world. It helped me grow into the woman I am today.

From the moment I received it, I knew I was called to share it.

Is something inside you saying “YES” to this? Click here.

Freedom at Your Fingertips

photo by Glow Boudoir

Freedom pulses at your fingertips.
It’s wild
prowling and howling
at the fringes of your life.
Your heart trills
fantasizing about
throwing itself headlong into freedom.
The seduction is relentless.
Whispers of liberation
calling you forward.
Your core stirs, awakening
wanton and hungry.
The embers of desire are gathering,
sparking.
You know what’s coming.
You can feel the pressure,
suspended and building.
Waiting patiently,
with gaze unbroken,
for the dam to break,
for the freedom flood
sweeping you from the safety shore
wrapped in courage and
permeated by pleasure.

Why I Write

Photo by Glow Boudoir

Last week, Sheila Kennedy asked me why I write.

The simple answer: I write because I find words enchanting. They captivate me, much like any artist or creator is captivated by the building blocks of their medium. I read a lot as a child, especially historical fiction. Losing myself in other times and other worlds was deeply satisfying to me. I loved the idiosyncrasies of characters and the way a simple description could conjure such vivid experiences of sight, sound, and smell in my mind. I was hooked. Now crafting words as an adult feels like play. The blending of structure and limitless possibilities provides fertile ground for my curiosity, desire to express my inner life, and my calling to serve.

The mystical, magical, and miraculous have a way of getting lost in translation. To be fair, part of the sacredness of some experiences is their inexpressible nature. Sometimes the depth of an experience renders it forever secret. However, I find that writing about my inner life often magnifies its holiness and realness. It’s easy to brush off sacred moments, moments when the eyes of our heart grow wide with awe, and distract ourselves with outer stimulation. Writing allows me to paint my inner life with words and birth ideas. Every writer and artist is a midwife.

How do you express your ideas and experiences?

p.s. speaking of writing, this Pinterest board is where I keep all my favorite words.

Dare alla Luce: Light, Birth and Body Love

photo by Glow Boudoir

Some little girls dream of becoming princesses or veterinarians. I dreamt of becoming a midwife and walking with women as they balanced the line between life and death to birth. How they contained a contradiction fascinated me deeply. Eve Ensler described a moment during her daughter-in-law’s birth when “we couldn’t take our eyes out of that place.” I’ve realized throughout my life that I can’t take my eyes away from birth either. It captivates me. I am indeed called to walk that line with people, but not always literally.

We live the contradictions and cycles and struggles and bliss of birth everyday. We are made with that energy of becoming texturing the fiber of our being, body and soul.

In Italian, birth is dare alla luce, which means to give to the light.  Each time I step in front of Chelse’s camera, I give myself over to the light. The truth is, body love and self love are something we birth into world everyday. Just like birth, loving your body, and creating the energetics of self-compassion, are simultaneously miraculous and perfectly ordinary. Sometimes it’s quiet, tiny victories that flash inside you like lightening bugs. Sometimes it’s a bold and glorious ascension into your own mystical divinity.

No matter what it looks like, birth is always a practice of surrender. Surrendering to the present moment. Surrendering to your truth. Surrendering to pain and discomfort. Surrendering to change. Surrendering to the light of your being. Surrendering to love.

When you feel yourself hanging on for dear life, give yourself over to the light.

Much love,
Hilarie Mae

p.s. if you find yourself holding on tight, click here to loosen up.

Angel vs. Animal

photo by Nana B Agyei

photo by Nana B Agyei

Next time, under think it.

Turn your busy brain off and rest. Ease into the light of truth that already warms your Core Star. Smile back at your bones and blood, for they still beam and pulse and shift to the rhythm of rightness. Their instincts are sharp. They pick up the scent of destiny like a wolf finds the scent of its quietly feeding prey.

Go under the surface of your ego, of its thought and fear and plan-making and proclamations, its pomp and circumstance. Remember that you are a walker of the dream paths. You are mystical. You are etheric. You are an animal piercing through trappings of the false-self.

The Secret to Conquering Fear

Fear is tricky business, mostly because it can creep in and control us, even when we’re not aware of it. As this project grows and my body love journey progresses through stages I never imagined, fear often sneaks in behind vulnerability. It thrives in the darkness and shadows of excuses. The secret to conquering fear? Call it out into the light.

I like to start by actually saying “I’m scared” out loud. Sometimes I say it over and over again like a mantra. Sometimes I shout it. Then I hang out with it. That’s right. I get uncomfortable and quiet and spend time with the fear. The longer I spend (sometimes it doesn’t take very long) the more my fear feels like a deflating air mattress. The surface begins the crumble. It can’t hold weight anymore. Pretty soon it’s flat and lifeless. That’s when I send it a blessing for reminding me that I am worthy of fully feeling all my emotions, even when they’re uncomfortable, and I walk away.

Fear is a compass. Fear tells us where to dig deeper, love harder, and summon more courage. Fear affords us an opportunity to engage with the power of our humanity.

p.s. fear and resistance often go hand-in-hand. Click here to learn how to melt your resistance and alchemize your fear.