Let’s Stop Using Pain as Proof

I’ve had some truly horrific things happen to me. Most of us have. Varying degrees (which are totally subjective) and varying experiences – but trauma, nevertheless.

I’ve been offered many opportunities to speak about this trauma, to share my story, speak my truth. At least thirty people have told me what a gift it would be to use my story to connect with other trauma victims and serve them through energy medicine. The best way to describe how I feel about this is the way you feel when watching a cat or dog eat their own puke. Grossed. Out.

I processed my trauma. I therapized it, coached it, journaled it, healed it. Sometimes a new facet of that process presents itself and I deal with it. All I can say is, I don’t want to meet you there. I don’t want to use my trauma, or yours, as the starting point of our collaboration.

I realize most people associate energy work with healing. We call it “energy healing,” and “energy medicine”. Both imply that the work addresses wounds, dis-ease, illness, and imbalance. It absolutely can. Many practitioners do that work well.

However, I have a million gifts. There are zillion jobs I could do, ways I could help, skills I could hone and offer. I won’t try to downplay that. Because YOU have a million gifts, too. You and I have stockpiles of incredible, earth-shaking, breath-taking, world-bettering giftedness. Know this: just because you can, doesn’t mean you have to.

You get to discover your gifts and choose how to use them. You get to take on the clients you LOVE working with, doing the work you LOVE to do. You get to carve out the most improbable and specific niche because that’s the work that really revs your engine. You get to gleefully and firmly say “No, thanks!” to 90% of the opportunities to use your gifts, so when the opportunity with just the right vibration comes along, you can put all your energy into saying, “YES!!!”

You don’t need to tell me the story of your trauma for me to believe in your giftedness. You don’t need to exploit your pain to prove the value of your contributions. And you definitely don’t need to spend another second rehashing your past to take action, use your voice, or create something right here and now.

(Note: healing is important. Sharing your story is important. There’s a time and place for it. There’s also a difference between truly healing, taking up permanent residence in your pain, exploiting pain as a marketing tactic, and moving the hell on. Choose wisely.)

This business of energy work is only fractionally comprised of healing. The vast majority of it is actually about what comes next. There’s a beautiful expanse of life after and alongside healing. Energy work is really about supporting your journey into the unknown, it’s about providing you with the energy necessary to receive and build wealth, insights, divine revelations, a super-charged creativity, a strong mind, clarity, power, pleasure, healthy relationships, resilience, and a life fully alive.

As an industry, we’ve relegated energy to healing. Rarely do we bring it into the conversation of business building, of unleashing creativity, of consciously generating wealth, of crafting and curating a life perfect for you – from the brand of underwear you buy to the conferences you attend to the partner you call in to the friends you’re surrounded by to the coffee you drink to the thoughts you think.

The true capability of energy work goes far beyond mending and rebalancing. Energy is the force behind creation. Isn’t that exactly what you need when you’re ready to create? When you’re ready to make something bigger or do better? When you’re gathering a group? When you’re speaking on a stage? When you’re writing that book? When you’re shifting gears in your business? When you’re consciously up-leveling?

This seems so obvious to me, but I haven’t had the words for it until just now. I don’t want to be your healer. There are a zillion healers, awesome healers, capable and compassionate healers.

I want to be your creative collaborator, the person holding a tank of life-force energy when you’re in the midst of making something amazing and you need a reserve to finish, your pleasure-promoter, your door opener, your celebrator, your encourager… an endless channel of energy from which you can draw upon to make the world better and brighter through the use of your gifts.

Let’s stop using pain as proof of giftedness. Instead, let your gifts loose in the world. Let your gifts speak for themselves.

You Get to Climb the Mountain

Let’s get one thing really clear. I love my job as much as I love life itself, because it is an expression and use of my Life Force in the world.

However, when someone asks me what I do, I usually give some version of “energy alchemist” and attempted to move on. What I really want to say: I am a powerful healer. I LOVE WOUNDS. And, given the opportunity, I will love your wounds right into the light of a thousand suns. I will dissolve completely into a pure channel of Universal Energy. I will hold space for you with a strength and depth that no one ever has before, so you can transcend all the bullshit that’s built up in your head (and life and business) and step into your prophecy, triumph, and divine trajectory.

That’s not exactly a sexy soundbite (but some of you are reading this like “HOLY YES!!!”). For that very reason, my inability to squish my work into a tidy little marketing box, I hated “marketing” and pretty much everything I’d ever been taught about “building” a business. An enormous amount of resistance built up between me and sharing my gifts in the world. Then I uncovered a bit of wisdom that changed everything.

Business is energy. It doesn’t need to be built outside yourself, it needs to be lived first.

Here’s what I mean by that. Whether you’re a soulpreneur, solopreneur, spiritual entrepreneur or logic-worshipping business owner, know this: the growth of your business begins and ends with your personal vibration. It’s more effective than any billboard or sales funnel. If your vibration is a wonky mess, so goes your business. If you commit to energetic hygiene for 5 days, notice an incredible shift, and take that as a cue to forsake all your new practices and pick up all your old habits, don’t wonder why everything went back to being shitty and unstable and out of flow.

You have not chosen the easy way out, at least not initially. You’ve chosen the crucible of transformation – to dedicate your life, your time, your energy, and the source of your income to your inner growth. That’s fucking courageous. And you are more than a match for this journey. In fact, you’re made for it.

So don’t let anyone tell you there’s a magic formula, 6 easy steps, a new planner, a time management technique, or a mastermind that will fast forward you through all the inner work and helicopter you to the top of the mountain where you make millions of dollars, feel completely fulfilled, and still get to live in all your low-vibe habits, practices, and thoughts.

Nope. You walk up the mountain yourself. And you know what? That walk is a privilege. YOU GET TO WALK UP THE MOUNTAIN. You get to meet yourself in the mess and magic and contribute something to our collective evolution. You get to choose gritty, tenacious joy. You get to scrap the rule book and live boundless. You get to create wealth. You get to wait when your soul calls for stillness and patience. You get say no to that dazzle opportunity that feels wrong. You get to say yes to that outrageous next step that looks impossible, but is actually perfect, because your soul and business eat impossible for breakfast.

It’s time to stop searching for the easy way out, for the magic formula. Tend to your vibration. Filter everything through it. Only devote to and implement what resonates. And when it doesn’t resonate anymore, dissolve it and don’t look back.

Flip off the business bullies, the quick-fix touting leeches, and the fear-based business guidance.

The energy, power, cosmic love, source, soul inside you is the most precious and potent source of wisdom at your disposal. Stop diluting it with doubt and fear. Give it center stage, even if your ego and fight/fight/freeze response is freaking the fuck out.

You’re here reading these words for a reason. You are essential. Listen to YOU, to your divinity, for what’s next.

Turn Your Process Into Power

You can be an incredible, powerful, world-changing, life-altering coach, healer, wellness professional, etc. and still not have it all together. You can struggle sometimes and need help, and still change your client’s lives.

You can heal humbly. You can keep learning and growing and changing, even though you’re an “expert” or a “thought leader”. Your wounds, your process, your distractions, your imperfections do not make you weak or unqualified. They make you a body of light, uniquely qualified to support the light in others.

In fact, the ecology of your inner life and outer contributions depends on your ability to keep doing your own work, to keep softening and strengthening, instead of building walls around your evolution, because you’re afraid of being seen.

The way to a more vibrant practice, more clients, more money, more time, is not suppressing or hiding your journey. It’s not exploiting it, either. The way is by letting it out into the light. And that looks different for everyone. We all have tender bits that require just the right reveal, just the right witnesses, just the right container for our vulnerability. Sometimes that’s quiet conversation and other times it’s in a stadium with thousands or in a book or podcast or sticky note on your refrigerator.

And when you choose to have your process seen, instead of pretending to have it all together or reacting with defensiveness or hiding, you allow alchemy in.

When you hide your process, you vastly underestimate the power and creativity of the Universe to use your whole being, your entire life, for good. Your process is your power in motion.

Take a gentle breath and a deep exhale. Let yourself be right here. Surrender right here. Create right here. Not when you’re more “together”, not when you’ve lost 10 pounds, not after you complete that certification or hire that coach, not once your website is done, not when you have “enough” time or money.

If your imagination is captivated by an idea, take one small step from here, to bring it to life. If you heart is longing for a person, place, or practice, go hunt it down or allow yourself to receive it. If your body is asking for a food, movement, or vibration, honor it with an answer.

There is so much power in your process, even the messy, unwieldy, embarrassing parts, if you allow them.

Ready for a witness? Let’s talk.

How to Use Pinterest to Meditate

Pinterest Meditation | Hilarie Mae


Confession: I am Pinterest obsessed.

However, unlike many typical users that primarily file away recipes and DIY home improvement projects, I like to use it primarily as a tool for meditation. (In the interest of full disclosure, I also pin recipes and DIY home improvement projects because I can’t ignore salted carmel mocha brownies or reclaimed wood tables.)

It started around the time that I created this board of quotes. Words have always enchanted me. I have a masters degree in Interpersonal/Organization Communication and Rhetorical Theory because deconstructing our use of words thrills me.  Written, spoken, and body language are essential to our humanity and our divinity. They’re the many lenses through which we experience and express.

Since that first substantial board, a practice has emerged around pinning. As an air sign (Gemini), a chronic lucid dreamer, an energy worker, and a celestial warrior, many of my experiences happen through my soul in a reality far beyond this world. It’s easy for me to lift out of this life and feel dazed, out of touch, and ungrounded, like I’m trying to run forward while suspended still in mid-air.

I do a lot of grounding practices. I hug trees. I stand on the earth and dig my toes into the ground. I connect my energy to the earth’s core and let it draw my field back into my body. However, that doesn’t always resonate. And it’s not always practical, say during a blizzard or when I’m too ungrounded to even think about sitting quietly in a more traditional meditation. My senses are too heightened to simply reground.

That’s where Pinterest comes in. I have created boards that focus exclusively on forests and animals (and one just for horses). As fantasy-inspired as some of the images may be, they bring me back down into the smell of moss and the feeling of a horse’s velvet nose pressed against my neck. They offer a re-entry into my earth-bound body taking in and conversing with the physical world around me.

And then there are my reminder boards, for moments when I feel lost, despairing, hopeless or confused. I can turn to a board for my most essential self, a board for my yearly theme, or a board for my most profound desire. Each one awakens my truth, drawing me deeper into alignment with and awareness of my foundation.

Despite my best efforts, sometimes my view of this human experience darkens and I crave beauty. You know those times when you just want to stare in wonderment at something? In addition to an actual wonderment board, I also use this sacred geometry board and this crystalline board to steep my sight in beauty.

Sometimes the meditation practice is the action of pinning. Curation is a powerful use of the ability to choose. It’s a way to say a small, holy yes to what brings light to life. Other times the meditation practice is in gazing. Sometimes I’ll look at a single image or a series of images for 10 or 15 minutes, letting the beauty and magic of whatever I’m looking at wash over me again and again. As I look at a picture or drawing, I notice where it shifts my energy. I ask myself what feeling(s) it evokes and why it makes me feel calmer, lighter or stronger.

The best part of this practice? It starts with an app on my phone that goes with me almost everywhere. That means no matter where I am, I always have access to a tool that can call me home to myself when I feel far, far away.

What’s your favorite meditation tool or practice?

Trusting the Quiet

Hilarie Mae | Trust Quiet
Full disclosure: As I sit here and witness these words appearing, I realize they’re just as much for me as they are for you.

Trust is a tiny, fierce creature, always begging for your attention, then settling delicately in your belly once acknowledged. It’s the breath in every decision you make. That’s why some choices feel full and expansive, while others feel tight and constricted. That’s trust breathing or suffocating.

As we slow and turn inward for the cozy winter months, despite holidays and to-do lists, our energy longs to shift from a boil to a simmer. Our inner lives grow quiet. God grows quiet. The earth grows quiet. It’s easy to trust the desires and guidance that arrive loud and clear. Their boldness reassures us. But what about when our own sacred voice whispers or doesn’t speak at all?

The spiritual path has always been punctuated by times of quiet. Sue Monk Kidd likened it to the rich silence of a cocoon. Saint John of the Cross called it a dark night of the soul. No matter what metaphor resonates, they have one thing in common: trust. Trust that the cocoon will dissolve and life will emerge. Trust that the sun will rise. Trust that newness germinates under the surface of silence.

Trust requires you to settle into your life as pilgrimage, not a race.
It’s a practice of pouring love into the quiet instead of fear,
of choosing to smooth desire into the silence,
of tenderly sheltering the embers of your inner life so they can blaze into flame,
of surrendering to the cycle of gestation, birth, life and death,
of asking for what you need and accepting the gifts that follow,
of remembering that every molecule of your being belongs to the Light,
of unmooring your expectations and sending them out to sea,
because wherever love brings you, it sustains you.

Greater is the Divine in you than any other force. Trust the quiet.

photo by Chelse Thompson.

Inexactly What You Get From Energy Medicine

2895860359_b1c999b2ae_zEvery marketer ever believes that entrepreneurs and business owners must inform clients and customers of the results they’ll get from a product or service. Seems pretty logical, right? However, that presents a problem when it comes to Energy Medicine. To be honest, I don’t know exactly what you’ll get out of it, or how drastically your life will change. I can’t give you a bulleted list of quantifiable outcomes. It’s impossible to predict the intensity of your expansion or the richness of your transformation.

What I do know, is that you’ll never be the same.
You’ll shed your soul-skin countless times in the days to come.
You’ll hear the voice of God whisper in your bones.
You’ll be drenched in the light of your Divinity.
You’ll be wooed by a path you’ve only caught glimpses of until now.
You’ll stand face to face with ravenous desire.
You’ll weep over wounds.
Not long after, you’ll press fingertips into glistening scar tissue.
You’ll discover super-human strength that leaves you shocked and breathless.
You’ll surrender to a river of miracles that draws you into a current of clarity.
You’ll reach into the depths of your rage, hear its grievances and fears, and feel it shake the earth.
You’ll find what breaks your heart and what pisses you off and use them like compasses.
Life will break you open and spill love everywhere.

I can’t say exactly what you’ll get. But I promise you’ll get exactly what you need. I promise you’ll change the landscape of your inner life. I promise you’ll fall deeper in love with your humanity through your divinity.

photo credit :: Hartwig HKD

How Energy Medicine Chose Me

People often ask how I got into energy medicine. The answer is simple: I experienced it.

My first time receiving energy work was on retreat eight years ago. The experience broke open a level of insight, clarity, and relief that I never knew existed. It confirmed that my spiritual life wasn’t all in my imagination, but rather a real world of mysticism within and around me. I felt simultaneously comforted and challenged, rooted and in flight, profoundly human and profoundly divine, heartbreakingly loved, acutely aware of my brokenness, but also of its impermanence.

At that time in my life, I was deep in trenches dug by emotional abuse at the hands of someone I loved, an eating disorder, and a self-destructive desire to please everyone. Energy Therapy shed light on the grace in my life at a time when darkness threatened to blind me. It breathed life into my courage so I could find a way out of self-hatred. It honored where I was and gently ushered me forward into a new way of being in myself and the world. It helped me grow into the woman I am today.

From the moment I received it, I knew I was called to share it.

Is something inside you saying “YES” to this? Click here.