Freedom at Your Fingertips

photo by Glow Boudoir

Freedom pulses at your fingertips.
It’s wild
prowling and howling
at the fringes of your life.
Your heart trills
fantasizing about
throwing itself headlong into freedom.
The seduction is relentless.
Whispers of liberation
calling you forward.
Your core stirs, awakening
wanton and hungry.
The embers of desire are gathering,
You know what’s coming.
You can feel the pressure,
suspended and building.
Waiting patiently,
with gaze unbroken,
for the dam to break,
for the freedom flood
sweeping you from the safety shore
wrapped in courage and
permeated by pleasure.

An Easy Body

photo by Glow Boudoir

You know those people who seem to have all the physical features you envy wrapped up in one glorious, flawless body? I had a name for those people or, more accurately, their bodies. I called them easy bodies. In my comparison addled mind, they were perfect. They had it easy. Please laugh at the absolute absurdity of this and be compassionate with yourself if you still frequent the comparison vortex. We all get pulled in from time to time.

Thankfully, I learned that having a certain body type doesn’t mean your life is more or less easy than someone with a different body type. I caught myself thinking she has such an easy body the other day about an acquaintance. And then I chose a thought I’ve never consciously chosen before: I have an easy body, too. Several hours later, I reflected on that thought and realized that an easy body means something totally different to me now. Over this past year, a term I used spitefully and with a tinge of jealousy and self-hatred has turned into a celebration.

What I see when I look at a woman with an easy body is not her actual shape, but rather how she inhabits it.

I see a woman sated by her life.
I see a woman deeply in love with every curve of her complexity.
I see a woman that takes pleasure in the rise of her hungers and relishes the adventure of feeding them.
I see a woman at home in the temple of her bones and blood.
I see a woman unafraid of surrendering.
I see a woman unapologetically honest about her needs, desires, values and boundaries.
I see a woman in passionate pursuit of her own heart.
I see a woman who has unbridled her joy.
I see a woman sure of her strength.
I see a woman creating the poetry of her soul.
I see a woman immensely gentle with herself and the world.
I see a woman set loose.
I see a woman awash in pleasure.
I see a woman awake.
I see a woman who uses her body as a compass.
I see a woman at peace.
I see a woman.

About halfway through that list, I realized I was talking about myself, too. That’s what I see when I look in the mirror. And it doesn’t matter if I’m having a crazy hair day or my jeans won’t button. All of those qualities and freedoms and breathtaking beauty are not contingent on my body type. They’re the outcome of self-love.

What do you see when you look in the mirror? And how does that view color the way you see other people?

Much love,
Hilarie Mae

A Love Letter to Your Awakening

Brave Soul,

There will always be a reason to forsake yourself. There will always be a thousand excuses to leave this work behind, slip into numbness, and fall back to sleep. Deep pockets in the world want to lull you. The sleep walkers have created all kinds of distractions and stressors and triggers to keep your attention caught. Remember, they don’t see the light like you do. They don’t know your body like you do. They don’t hear the voice of your soul like you do.

There comes a time, often more than once for the wild ones, when you must choose the soul and its tenacious truth rather than any other paths. There comes a time to shed the shrouds of culture and story line and sing into your depths, waking there the embers that keep hearts beating. You must step surely and lightly on the ground, feeling each spec of dirt and rock supporting your form. You must go hunting for your essential self and be prepared to embrace it fiercely when you meet. You must ready your life for fire.

Chose to love your body and soul today. Notice what love ignites.

Hilarie Mae

Dare alla Luce: Light, Birth and Body Love

photo by Glow Boudoir

Some little girls dream of becoming princesses or veterinarians. I dreamt of becoming a midwife and walking with women as they balanced the line between life and death to birth. How they contained a contradiction fascinated me deeply. Eve Ensler described a moment during her daughter-in-law’s birth when “we couldn’t take our eyes out of that place.” I’ve realized throughout my life that I can’t take my eyes away from birth either. It captivates me. I am indeed called to walk that line with people, but not always literally.

We live the contradictions and cycles and struggles and bliss of birth everyday. We are made with that energy of becoming texturing the fiber of our being, body and soul.

In Italian, birth is dare alla luce, which means to give to the light.  Each time I step in front of Chelse’s camera, I give myself over to the light. The truth is, body love and self love are something we birth into world everyday. Just like birth, loving your body, and creating the energetics of self-compassion, are simultaneously miraculous and perfectly ordinary. Sometimes it’s quiet, tiny victories that flash inside you like lightening bugs. Sometimes it’s a bold and glorious ascension into your own mystical divinity.

No matter what it looks like, birth is always a practice of surrender. Surrendering to the present moment. Surrendering to your truth. Surrendering to pain and discomfort. Surrendering to change. Surrendering to the light of your being. Surrendering to love.

When you feel yourself hanging on for dear life, give yourself over to the light.

Much love,
Hilarie Mae

p.s. if you find yourself holding on tight, click here to loosen up.